Facing relationship problems
🔎 Client Situation: Facing Relationship Problems
Conflict with a partner, family tension, poor communication, emotional disconnection.
⚡ Techniques & How to Use Them
1. Perspective Shifting
- How: Invite the client to explore the other person’s point of view. Ask: “If you were them, how might you see this?” or use role-reversal exercises.
- When: When blame or misunderstanding dominates. Encourages empathy and awareness.
2. Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
- How: Use the NVC model: Observation → Feeling → Need → Request. Guide the client to express emotions and needs clearly without judgment.
- When: When communication is emotionally charged or conflict-based.
3. Values Clarification
- How: Help the client identify which personal values are being honored or violated. Ask: “What value of yours is at stake here?”
- When: When there’s confusion, emotional triggers, or conflicting expectations.
4. The Drama Triangle (Karpman)
- How: Identify roles: Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor. Shift client toward Empowerment Triangle roles: Creator, Coach, Challenger.
- When: When conflict repeats or roles feel stuck.
5. Boundary Coaching
- How: Help the client define emotional, time, or communication boundaries. Practice how they might assert them respectfully.
- When: When they feel resentful, overwhelmed, or taken for granted.
6. Parts Work or Chair Work
- How: Let the client speak from the parts of them that feel conflicted (e.g., the part that wants connection vs. the part that wants space).
- When: When torn between emotions or unsure about a decision.
7. Reframing the Story
- How: Explore a new interpretation of what happened. Ask: “Is there another way to view this situation?”
- When: When stuck in one narrative that creates anger or hurt.
8. Emotional Validation & Naming
- How: Help the client name their feelings and give permission for them to exist. Normalize and validate what they feel.
- When: When emotions are high or hard to articulate.
9. Forgiveness Process (If Appropriate)
- How: Explore what forgiveness would look like for them, not the other person. Focus on emotional release.
- When: When holding onto resentment blocks healing or clarity.
10. Future Visioning for the Relationship
- How: Ask: “What kind of relationship do you want to create?” Work backward from that vision.
- When: When they feel stuck in the past or unsure how to move forward.
🔎 Powerful Coaching Questions
- “What do you want to feel in this relationship that you don’t feel now?”
- “What value of yours is being challenged here?”
- “What does the other person need that they may not be expressing well?”
- “What boundary would help protect your peace?”
- “If this relationship were a mirror, what is it showing you about yourself?”
Tip: Hold space without judgment. Relationships are often layered with history and vulnerability. Your role is to provide clarity, tools, and a non-judgmental space for reflection.