Inner conflict or ambivalence
🔎 Client Situation: Inner Conflict or Ambivalence
Client feels torn between two choices, desires, or internal voices (e.g., “part of me wants this, but part of me doesn’t”). This may result in confusion, paralysis, or self-sabotage.
⚡ Techniques & How to Use Them
1. Parts Work (Internal Dialogue)
- How: Help the client name each “part” (e.g., the Achiever vs. the Protector). Give each a voice and explore what it wants, fears, and needs.
- When: When the client is emotionally torn or speaks in “parts language.”
2. Chair Work (Gestalt Technique)
- How: Use two chairs to represent each part. Have the client physically move between them and speak from each perspective.
- When: When embodiment or role-play helps externalize the conflict.
3. Meta-Position / Observer Role
- How: Guide the client to imagine stepping outside of both parts. From this neutral place, ask: “What do you notice about the two sides?”
- When: To create clarity and reduce emotional reactivity.
4. Values Alignment Check
- How: Explore which values are driving each side. Ask: “What value is each part trying to protect or fulfill?”
- When: When internal conflict is about what’s ‘right’ or meaningful.
5. Cost–Benefit Exploration
- How: Make a 2-column list for each side: Benefits and Costs. Compare.
- When: When logic helps break down emotional confusion.
6. Future Self Perspective
- How: Guide the client to visualize their future self after choosing either option. Explore: “What do you see, feel, or regret?”
- When: When ambivalence is based in fear of future outcomes.
7. Embodiment / Somatic Exploration
- How: Ask: “Where do you feel each part in your body?” Let each speak or move. Invite body awareness to lead insight.
- When: When verbal processing isn’t bringing resolution.
8. Decision Rehearsal
- How: Have the client “act as if” they’ve made the decision for 24–48 hours. Reflect afterward.
- When: When overthinking stalls progress.
9. Visual Mapping of the Conflict
- How: Create a diagram or draw both sides of the conflict. Explore overlaps, tensions, and desired outcomes.
- When: For visual or reflective clients.
10. Self-Compassion Dialogue
- How: Acknowledge the difficulty of holding opposing truths. Ask: “What would compassion say to both parts?”
- When: When ambivalence leads to shame or frustration.
🔎 Powerful Coaching Questions
- “What does each part of you want for you?”
- “What is each side afraid of?”
- “What would a wise, calm version of you say to both parts?”
- “How might both parts be trying to help in their own way?”
- “What small action can honor both sides of this conflict?”
Tip: Ambivalence is not indecision — it’s insight waiting to be integrated. Help the client listen to all parts with respect, then choose with clarity.