Unwanted behaviour
🔎 Client Situation: Engaging in Unwanted Behaviour
Client continues patterns or habits they want to change (e.g., emotional reactivity, scrolling, unhealthy eating, avoidance, self-sabotage). They may feel stuck, frustrated, or ashamed.
⚡ Techniques & How to Use Them
1. Habit Loop Analysis (Cue–Routine–Reward)
- How: Break down the behaviour: What triggers it? What’s the routine? What’s the reward? Explore how to interrupt or replace the loop.
- When: To increase awareness and create strategic alternatives.
2. Pattern Interruption
- How: Identify the moment right before the behaviour starts. Introduce a new, small action to disrupt the usual flow.
- When: When the behaviour is automatic or unconscious.
3. Parts Work (Conflicting Intentions)
- How: Dialogue with the part of the client that engages in the behaviour. Ask: “What are you trying to protect or give me?”
- When: When there’s inner conflict or self-sabotage.
4. Environmental Design
- How: Help the client modify their environment to reduce friction for positive choices and increase friction for unwanted ones.
- When: When behaviour is triggered by cues in their space or routine.
5. Identity Shift Work
- How: Ask: “What kind of person do you want to be?” and link behaviour change to identity: “What would that version of you choose?”
- When: To shift from “trying to change” to “becoming someone new.”
6. Anchoring a Desired State
- How: Help the client access a powerful state (calm, focused, empowered) and anchor it to replace the emotional need behind the behaviour.
- When: When behaviour is emotion-driven.
7. Values-Based Reframing
- How: Identify which values the client wants to honour and how the new behaviour aligns with that. Ask: “How does this shift reflect who you want to be?”
- When: When they need a deeper reason to commit to change.
8. Implementation Intentions
- How: Create if–then plans. Example: “If I feel triggered, then I will [take a breath, go for a walk, text my coach].”
- When: To move from awareness to action.
9. Self-Compassion Practice
- How: Encourage the client to meet slip-ups with kindness. Use journaling, affirmations, or inner dialogue.
- When: When shame or guilt is creating resistance to change.
10. Accountability & Habit Tracking
- How: Set up simple tracking (checklists, journals, app). Include regular reviews. Celebrate small wins.
- When: To build consistency and self-trust.
🔎 Powerful Coaching Questions
- “What need is this behaviour trying to meet?”
- “What does this part of you believe it’s protecting you from?”
- “What would success look like if it felt compassionate, not forceful?”
- “What’s the smallest change you can make that would move you toward who you want to be?”
- “If you forgave yourself for this behaviour, what would become possible?”
Tip: Unwanted behaviours are often outdated solutions. Help clients get curious, not critical — and build lasting change through identity, environment, and compassion.
Video: Cognitive Behavioural Coaching
Episode 31 from "In Good Company" with Jo Wheatley and Zoe Hawkins explores cognitive behavioural coaching techniques, demonstrating how to help clients identify and change thought patterns that drive unwanted behaviors.